it's called "pulling a jenn"

Ever have one of those moments where you do something incredibly, incredibly stupid and you kick yourself for days afterwards because you don’t even understand how you could have possibly let that happen? I have those moments a lot, therefore I am hereby dubbing these ridiculous antics “pulling a Jenn”.

I’m hoping with all hope in the world that I’m not the only one who does things like this, but here are a few of the better ones that have happened recently.

You know you’ve “pulled a Jenn” when you:

1. Attempt to go DOWN the UP escalator. You’re in such a daze trying to get to the train platform you just casually drift over to the escalator, step on, and are immediately returned to where you started. Then you sheepishly look around and cross your fingers that NO ONE SAW PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE SEE only to find some guy staring at you which is embarrassing because you clearly just made an ass out of yourself. And then he tries to make you feel better by directing you in the appropriate direction to which you respond, “MORE IMPORTANTLY — I just tried to go DOWN the UP escalator” to which he says “It happens to the best of us” except you know that it doesn’t. It just happens to you.
2. Get dressed for a meet-and-greet reception and make it halfway there before you realize that you’re a day early and the event is actually tomorrow at the same time you’ve agreed to meet someone for drinks, on the opposite side of town of course. So then you have to be THAT GIRL who reschedules a first drink date and you try to be all convenient and have this date meet you at the meet and greet a couple hours later and OF COURSE he shows up right as you’re involved in a fascinating flirty conversation with a very attractive man and your date isn’t half as cute or nearly as interesting and all you can think about is how you hope the flirty cute guy follows you back on Twitter so you can make up for bailing.
3. Waste an hour and a half doing nothing in the library and then realize 5 minutes before class starts that today is the last day to hand in a form that you need your advisor to sign so that you can take that math class you need so you can graduate. Except that your advisor already left for the day so you find another professor who happens to hate you because you forgot to pay attention in his class last semester and you have to convince him to pretend to be your advisor and sign the form so you can graduate. And then you rush to the administrative building before it closes and hand in this form only to have the kid behind the desk tell you that the date listed online was wrong and really you didn’t have to hand this form in today, or rather, at all.
4. Send an extraordinarily explicit text to an attractive out-of-state man friend and are pretty proud of your quick and witty response until you collapse onto the floor in a ball of panic when you realize that in reality you didn’t send it to said attractive out-of-state man friend but rather to a guy YOU JUST MET THAT DAY. At which point you start hyperventilating and scare the bejeezus out of your roommate as you run around the house and try to do some damage control. Meanwhile the boy who received the text is all “whaaa?” and you’re all “OMGOMGOMG that was my roommate’s boyfriend and I’m so sorry and please don’t hate me because I’ve never said anything like that before in my life” which is obviously a BLATANT LIE but you need to keep the crazy under wraps for a bit longer so you just go with that whole “I’m super innocent” thing. And then you e-mail the story to your favorite women in the entire world and start a massive Gmail Reply All thread that ultimately makes your life.**

Please tell me I’m not the only one who does stupid things like this. PLEASE.

**And then you have to confess your lie to the person who accidentally received the wholly inappropriate text because he reads this blog and would figure out what really happened but the story is JUST TOO GOOD not to share with the world.

Tagged as: alcohol is my friend, awkward turtle, bloggy friends, boston, boys, dating, get me out of here, i'm an idiot, ridiculousness, the single life, this WOULD happen to me